Journal entry for July 18, 2008: “…there I found myself sitting on the bus heading back to the airport. As I sat alone with an empty seat next to me, I looked up and saw Josh walking back toward me. Quickly, I looked down avoiding eye contact (you see, I was very shy and heaven forbid if he discovered that I like him!). From the corner of my eye, I saw that he had stopped right next to me. Looking up, I saw him looking down at me; he said, “Can I sit here?” Amazed, I said, “yes.” Joshua just sat there next to me. He didn’t say anything. Still as shy as I could be, I said nothing too; and we sat in silence. I was starting to feel awkward. I was beginning to tense up and my heart started beating faster. I glanced out the window with what seemed like millions things running through my mind. Then Josh started talking to me.
He just asked me about school and other things about my life. He told me about his wild 4th of July experience and we laughed and enjoyed each other’s company. During this thirty-minute ride to the airport, I had a longer conversation with Joshua than ever before in my entire life.
Those thirty-minutes flew! As soon as we reached the airport, Josh jumped out of his seat and quickly sat back down in the front of the bus where he was originally sitting; and there I was, for two-minutes sitting alone again. It is impossible to describe to you how I was feeling in those two-minutes. They almost seemed longer than the thirty-minute ride over to the airport.
After parking, everyone was ready to check-in. Josh helped us get our bags out of the bus and while we were waiting, my friends Hannah and Brandi approached me. Teasingly they said, “So, did you have a nice ride over here?” I hushed them and said, “Be quiet, he’ll hear you.” As I stood in the ticket-line, I couldn’t stop thinking about what happened.
Finally, after the team was ticketed, we all gathered by the escalators. There Joshua stood saying goodbye to us. The men shook His hand and all I could say was “bye, I’ll see you later.” He smiled and watched as we walked away. Standing on the escalator, I watched him until I could no longer see him. That was it. That was the last time I would see him for the rest of the summer. Saying good-bye is the worst experience to have to undergo. Saying goodbye with uncertainty is even worse.
As I sat in seat 19F, I put my head against the window and watched the mountains and buildings beneath us get smaller. I started crying. I missed him. Right then I realized that I didn’t just like him, but that I loved him! I believed will all my heart that God planted a love in my heart for him on that day.”
After Joshua and I began our relationship, before he even knew how long I had loved him, he told me when he started loving me. What he told me amazed me—he started loving me the exact same time that I started loving him!
July 18th, 2008.